So I have not posted since March as I have been keeping myself occupied with life. We had the 'what the fuck meeting' with the doctors who confirmed if i wanted to try again medically they would be supportive. Which I interpret to be if you want to throw another £10k at us we will … Continue reading I can’t explain why?
I am lying on a sun lounge in Mauritius staring out at the ocean. It is beautiful but l feel sad and empty. We picked Mauritius as it is Zika free and I should have been 4 months pregnant instead of 2 months post miscarriage. So we had the talk, the 'so now what talk', … Continue reading So now what?
I have not blogged for over a month. I had been feeling pretty good and thought I was actually going to be ok. In reality I have been numb in some state of shock. The last few weeks have just felt like one blow after another and the wave of depression I have been afraid … Continue reading Who am I after failed IVF?
So it's been a week since my surgery........... I think I am just numb not really feeling anything, I am waiting for the realisation that my fertility journey is over. I am so sad thinking about this but also relieved to be getting off the rollercoaster of IVF. It feels like I have been holding … Continue reading Tears everyday but I am not broken
Yesterday (Saturday 13th Jan) I had my 9 week fetus suctioned from my body. I know that sounds quite harsh and medical but that is what happened. 4 days earlier I found out my baby had no heartbeat the words I used then was ‘ my baby died’. Now I call it a fetus as … Continue reading Miscarriage and the acceptance of infertility